Things That Should Not Be
by Blai Starker
Summary: No matter how hard they try Rory and Jess find themselves Reading each other's favorite writers, even though they hate them.Rory is cloud watching and Suddenly with out warning Jess shows up. Hopefully they can keep themselves under control.
1. Farwell to Donuts

"Morning Rory, what'll it be?"

"Just coffee to go Luke, I'm reading out in the gazebo today" Rory had set her book on the counter, but took it back in her hand away out of his view so he couldn't see the title of the book.

"Are you trying to hide that book Rory?" Luke handed her coffee to her in the classic to-go cup, and a bag that had a donut in it, knowing she would want a snack too; she was a Gilmore after all.

Rory took the bag and coffee, "what do you mean?" she flashed the book in front of him really fast, "why would be hiding a book? I love books; I encourage every one to read every book out there!"

Luke gave her his fatherly look, after all he had only dreamed of being able to call Rory his daughter.

She made a complaint noise and finally gave in, holding up the book to him.

He instantly understood her wanting to keep the book secret.

"If you didn't like it the first time, what makes you think you'll like it now?"

Rory looked down for a little bit, and then held the book out to him and flipped through the pages, "He left notes in this copy" she pulled out a few dollars to pay, "on the house Rory, in fact stop by for another free donut later. I hear reading can make a girl famished"

She gave him the Gilmore smile, "Just thinking can make a Gilmore starving!"

Luke smiled back as she walked out the door, and as she left he let his eyes follow her a bit. He wanted to protect her; he didn't like seeing the pain in her eyes. It had been a while, and yet Rory might never get over it.

From under the counter Luke grabbed his own copy of_ Farewell To Arms_ and thumbed through the pages. He let out a sigh and threw it back down there and mumbled, "I'll never understand how they could read so much"

All Rory wanted that morning was to be left alone to read, and sadly the gazebo was not the place to be. Ms Patty had all her students out there practicing for their next recital. Before Ms Patty even saw her Rory turned the other way and headed out to the bridge.

'Why am I going back here?' she asked her self. She felt a few tears prick at her eyes, so she took a brave sip of her coffee to clear her senses and walked on. 'I may be reading your book, but I won't let you ruin one of my favorite places Mariano!'

She lifted her head, walked more proudly and finally made it to the bridge.  
Right in the middle she set up shop, sat the coffee next to her, the donut on top of the bag and her self laid out on the bridge. Lying on her stomach wasn't comfortable enough she discovered after reading the first few pages, so she flipped over on her back and held the book up over her view.

"Pretty!" looking up into the sky she took notice of all the clouds passing her by, each taking on a new shape, "oh a bunny! Mom should see this!"

Rory laid there for hours, watching the clouds take shape, the book forgotten, she didn't mind saving it for another day. No need to pain her self today.

"I thought you said you hated Hemmingway, that you wouldn't give the guy another chance."  
Rory rolled over quickly, spilling her coffee and knocking her donut into the lake. Luckily a duck was near by to eat the pastry.

"Hey! Give that back Mr. Duck!"

Jess gave a small laugh, just that small little laugh brought Rory back into reality, and she was sure that Jess was standing there, watching her in all her perfect grace.

Slowly she stood up.

"Hey" she said shyly.

"Hi" he said back, he looked around for a moment, not sure of what to say, and then he pointed at her book, "Giving him another chance?" 'Could you give me another chance Ror?' he thought to himself.  
"Maybe… what are you doing here Jess?"

Shyly he held out his own book.

"_Fountain Head, _You're giving Ayn Rand another chance?" She was shocked, but pleasantly surprised.

"I guess I am."

They stood there in silence, Jess at one end of the bridge, Rory in the middle, and a duck happily munching on her donut.


	2. More than one Appetite

Chapter Two: More than one Appetite

Rory kept her eyes on the ground as Jess stood there, his eyes also on the ground. 'What do I say? It's been so long, I've missed him so much... Yet I'm still so mad at him'

"Why are you here Jess?"

He couldn't hide the hurt look in his eyes, he had that coming to him and he knew it, "I thought you would be at school, I was just coming by town to have a good reading spot."

Anger took over her for a moment, "Yea I'm sure that's what this really is. You came all the way out here just to sit around and read a book by an author you don't even like! Why do you have to come and ruin my reading spot?" the instant the words left her mouth she regretted them.

"Okay" was all he said and he turned away and took a few slow steps.

"Jess, wait!" She ran the across the bridge and caught up to his steps. She had come a bit closer than she meant to, she was just a foot away.

Her eyes caught his and she looked up into his eyes, searching for an answer. If she could just stay there looking long enough all the answers would come to her, she knew that.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean that." She paused for a moment and looked down to the ground and barely whispered, "Don't go Jess."

More than anything Jess just wanted to reach out and pull her into his arms. But he couldn't, he had hurt her too much already. Just being there had hurt her and he couldn't live with him self to do any more damage.  
"Hey, it's okay." He brought his hand up for a moment, about to touch her arm; he quickly pulled his arm back when he realized what he was doing.  
'Why did he stop just now? Why can't I get myself to hug him? I'm still so mad at him. But I'm so glad to see him too. I'm not supposed to be "that" kind of girl.' Rory was getting frustrated with her mind and heart. Logic and emotions never played well together, and now was one of those times she wishes logic would leave her alone.

Jess shifted his weight from foot to foot, not sure what to say or do. "Umm hey, how about we go get you donut?" 'Smooth Jess. Real smooth. How to win the heart of a Gilmore? With food of course.'

"Actually, I kind of want some of the left over Chinese food we have at home." Rory looked up at him, took a step back, hoping he would pick up on her invite.

"Do you have a lot of it? – He chuckled- of course you do. I mean, do you, have any for me? Maybe? I'm kind of hungry, and dinner food just isn't appealing right now, you know?"

Rory couldn't stifle her laugh and bent over laughing, putting her hand to her mouth trying to stop.  
A bit annoyed Jess just said, "What!"

She stood up a bit and their eyes met again and she laughed harder.  
"Rory, what's so funny?"  
She took in a few deep breathes. With a smile, "Jess Mariano just formed a string of complete sentences!"   
He rolled his eyes a bit but gave a grin, "So is that a yes to feeding me?"

Holding more laughter she got out, "Only if you can keep making complete sentences."  
Grinning at her, "Deal"  
"Hey you already lost! That wasn't a complete sentence! There's not subject verb agreement or anything in that!"  
For a moment Rory thought to her self, 'What am I doing? I'm still mad at him! But I've missed him. I can handle eating with him. We'll chat and catch up on our lives, and then it's good bye, it was nice to see you. Take care and we're on our own ways again. No big deal. I can handle this.'


	3. The Jess in the Rye

Wow, fast response guys, thanks. I fixed the typo

And because it was brought to my attention, we're just going to pretend Jess never showed up to say "I love you", so that's right, I'm re-writing Gilmore Girls the way I thought it should have been, WITH JESS AND ONLY JESS!

Cause Milo is so hot. Btw, if you get the chance go rent "Dirty Deeds" he's in it, and you'll never look at wheat bread again (and I had a sandwich last night too!) In fact, you'll wish you were a loaf of wheat bread.

That was random.

Fair warning. It's likely I might mention several books. Why? Because like Rory and Jess I'm a literature fanatic. I'll try to make the references clear. And if you want more info about the book just ask, I'm on a mission to get every one to love one work of literature!

I also made a very identical scene that you should all recognize. Hope you enjoy that little bit!

**Chapter Three: The Jess in the Rye**

Rory opened the door and walked in, Jess just stood there.  
"Don't tell me you've become a day walking vampire and you can't come in unless I invite you?"  
"You've found me out so quickly! Yes I'm here to take your blood and enjoy every last drop."

The two found themselves blushing at the implications of Jess having to bring his lips to her neck..  
Clearing her throat a bit, "Well go ahead and come in, I watched enough Buffy to know how to get rid of you. And I've got Giles on speed dial and Willow just happens to be my new next door neighbor, also on speed dial. She's on powerful witch you know. None of that Wicked Witch stuck under Dorothy's house kind of witch. Though those shoes were pretty awesome."  
Jess took a step in, and with a slight stroke of courage said, "Good luck trying to get rid of me."

Rory went straight to her room to put away her things. "You can do this, it's just a meal, light conversation, heck you won't even have to talk if you keep food in your mouth. Food, a bit of talk, and good bye it was nice to see you. You can do this." She took in a deep breathe, let it out, "I hope so" and left the room.

Jess sat in the kitchen, just looking around as Rory was in her room. Just rocking back in the chair, remembering his first time there.

Rory came out into the room and he nearly fell out of his chair.

She stifled a laugh, "sorry, didn't mean to startle you"  
He sat up, "Did I ever apologize to your mom for the way I acted the first time I was here? I don't think I could ever clean your gutters enough to get true forgiveness for that."  
She went to the refrigerator, throwing the Chinese food into the microwave, "I think she had other things to be more upset about than that."  
Jess got up and pulled out a couple of plates from the cabinet and set them on the table, "such as?"  
Rory looked at the plates, "Who do you think is going to wash those? Get the paper ones."  
He put them back and grabbed paper plates, "So one of those would be dirtying dishes." He places some forks on the table next to the plates.  
"Paper plates go with plastic forks."  
He stood back up and put the forks away and found the plastic ones.  
"Grab some extra, in case they break."  
The microwave beeped for her attention, "Yes, food!"

She set Jess's in front of him and was already eating hers before she sat down.

He just sat there staring at her in awe.

It took her a while before she noticed, "What?"

"Do you breathe?"

She took a big gulp of her food, "Did you know a baby can, inhale, swallow and exhale all at the same time about four times a second?"  
"Yes, that's impressive, but Rory you are well past the age of that"

"No you see a Gilmore never loses any good talent in life. We keep them all and use them all when necessary"

"Well, if you slowed down a bit we could have a conversation."

Taking no time she stuffed her fork back in her mouth and chewed it slowly, 'He's found out my plan to avoid conversation! No fair!' With a big gulp she swallowed.

"What's to talk about?"

Jess looked from her to the empty chair that she still hadn't sat down in, then back to her. Rory caught the hint, "Oh! Sitting, good idea." She gave a little nervous laugh and sat down, 'It's just Jess, don't be so stupid' she told her self.

"How's Yale?" Jess only poked at his food. Being near Rory made him nervous.

With her eyes on the food she nodded a bit, and talked into her plate, "Pretty good, rooming with some interesting people."

"And still reading."

She smiled a bit, "I don't have as much time for reading but I try to get as much in as possible. OH! You should see the library at Yale! You have to go and smell the books sometime!"

Jess smiled at her and finally took a bite of his food.

Shyly they sat in silence and ate, avoided conversation and looking at each other. Though they did have one little incident when they reached for the pepper at the same time, that moment alone left them both blushing and finding eye conversation to their food much entertaining.

Their thoughts turned inward, Rory let out a bit more than she wanted, "Jess, why are you here?" She never looked up, but he did. He watched as she pushed some rice to the edge of the plate.

"Have you ever read _The Catcher in the Rye_?"

"JD Salinger, of course. It's been a few years, but I have read it. It was interesting."

"I was a bit like Holden wouldn't you say? I had no real sense of direction, I was just living by what ever seemed appealing at the moment." He put down his fork, and places his hands on the table, letting his eyes follow the bit of hair that fell from behind her ear to in front of her eyes, simple beauties everywhere, and He had never enjoyed them until Rory, and hadn't since he left. Seeing her on the bridge earlier reminded him of all those simple beauties.

"You've come back to Stars Hollow to find yourself?" Disbelief couldn't be hidden in the tone of her voice, but that he expected.

"No, I found myself some where along the way in California." He took in a deep breathe, and held it in. 'You owe her the truth'

Rory put her fork down and finally met his eyes from across the table, "Did you have an epiphany near a carousel in a park?"

He grinned a bit, she remembered the book alright.

"No, it was more of a merry go round."

Her eye brows quirked a bit, "Bad boy Jess near a merry go round?" They both laughed a bit, and then they got silent.

They sat there, time dripping by. Jess let his eyes trail around the room, and he could feel all the emotions flooding into the room.

"I realized, the only good thing I've ever had in my life…."

He took a deep breathe, and their eyes caught again.

He started over, "The only good thing I've ever had in my life, I ruined. I destroyed it. I wasn't good enough, I didn't want to be more of a hindrance on your life than I already was. So I left. I ran away like a child."

Jess looked away for a moment, then stood up with the sudden overwhelming emotions he was having, "Rory you're the greatest thing I've ever had, and I realized that I don't want to be with out you."

He turned to walk out of the room, to run away again, but he stopped him self and faced her again, his hand behind his head as he tugged at the back of his hair, trying to get himself to fight through it all.

"I don't deserve you, I didn't in the first place. I just… –he shook his head a bit-I don't want to run away any more. And you give me a sense of direction. Rory, some how, some way, I want to be with you"

Not knowing when it happened Rory found her self standing, "Jess I.. I don't. Damnit Jess!" She took the last few steps across the room and put her arms around him and started to cry, "I hate you"

He wrapped his arms around her, bringing one to the back of her head and slowly ran his fingers through her hair, "Shhh. I'm so sorry Ror."


End file.
